My Glass(es) Are Half-Full

"A-Ha! That's what a flea's face looks like!"

This past Saturday marked my first day as a "Glasses-Wearer". For about a year, I noticed that road signs (especially at night) were a little blurry. I didn't think anything of it though. I just chalked it up to night-time glare. But a few weeks ago, I was in my kitchen and glanced over to the stove to check the time. For the life of me, I could not decipher whether a digit was an "8" or a "3". A "7" or a "1". Also, I had a hard time following the Bears/Eagles game. i couldn't tell if the score was "10-0" or "70-0". By the way they played, I'm guessing the actual score was closer to the latter.

So I decided that it was time for my 1st eye exam. I went to LensCrafters at the Joliet Mall. I sat down, went through the typical series of tests. Everything was fine except for the test that scares the living sh#t out of you by puffing a stream of air into each eye. I survived, but hated it.

Then the eye doc came in and posed a series of questions to me while presenting blurry images at me: "What's blurrier? #1 or #2?, etc., etc."

By using the power of deduction, he wrote up a prescription for myopia or nearsightedness. I couldn't believe the difference there was! I had no clue that my eye sight was that bad. Once I put the glasses on, everthing around me sharpened. Signs were clearer and colors were brighter. I guess it's similar to regular TV and HD. You don't realize how bad TV is until you experience HD.

I still feel weird wearing glasses, but I'm getting more used to them daily. I'm fine with them. I just wished these damn lenses would stop smudging.

Ding, Dong: The Witch is Dead!

Today in Romeoville?

Well, not quite. But this past week did present the season's first frost! As I had written in an earlier entry, I suffer horribly with seasonal allergies. They last from August until the 1st frost. So, for the 1st time in about 2 months, I can breathe labor-free!

Unfortunately, this euphoric high that I'm experiencing now, could be gone as quickly as it had appeared. I feel a cold coming on. :(

Damn.

Oh, well. So is life.

The Bears' Prayers Have Been Answered!

Yesterday, I received this fax (misspellings and grammatical errors included):

I am Barrister Kevin Keenan, a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to Mr. Nick Arnold, a national of your country who one of the American Sub Contractor with the PETROLEUM OIL & GAS ESP. SPAIN. Herein after shall be referred to as my client.

On the 21st of April 2004, my client, his wife and their three sons were involved in a car accident along Madrid Barcelona express road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the assets and Capital valued at US$ 35 million left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this huge deposits were lodged. The said Security Finance Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next fourteen official working days.

Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have all necessary formation and legal documents needed to back you up for claims. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Upon conclusion of transaction you are entitle of 40% sum.

PLEASE REPLY THROUGH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS
PRIVATE EMAIL barristerkeanan@tiscali.co.uk
EMIAL worldlinkchambers@tiscali.co.uk

TEL= 44-2075291487MOB= 44-7092032679FAX= 44-2076811600 FAX= 44-7092032688

I am waiting to hear from you soon

Best regards,
Barrister K. Keenan
*************************************************
I, in turn, countered with the following email:

Dear Barrister K. Keanan:

The recent fax I have received has peaked my interest immensely.

Please email the details to me ASAP.

Sincerely,

George Halas
Lake Forest, IL USA
**************************************************
Just this morning, I received this email from Mr. Keenan:

Dear George Halas,

Your email was received and I would like to inform you that the heritancecan be claim by you since both of you are bearing the same last name (NickHalas)also same country, and as attorney I will arrange legal documents that willenable you claim as next of kin. This transaction is 100% risk free.

The complete document of the inheritance claim is on our position withdeath certificate, for participating in this transaction you entitle of25% of the total sum.

REQUIREDS
Personal Phone number
Personal Fax number
Driver License, National Passport and Work ID (one of them)

So that we can send you the necessary documents

You can as well contact me on phone for further information.

Best Regards
Kevin Keenan
****************************************************
Dear Mr. Keenan:

This is wonderful news! I am looking forward to receiving my share of the inheritance. My organization and I can really use this influx of capital. My family & I own and manage a Professional American Football Team in Chicago, IL and need extra capital to compete in this league. It has been 18 years since our last league championship and our fan base is getting eager to win another.

At the start of the season, our outlook was positive, with our first round draft choice, Rex Grossman, leading our team as our quarterback. Unfortunately, he has since been injured, ironically, on a scoring play. So, in order to acquire another player to replace Mr. Grossman, I am planning to use this inheritance to get a top notch quarterback. We are currently looking for Mr. Joe Montana to come out of retirement to lead our team to victory. If he is not interested in returning to the game, maybe we can lure Michael Vick away from the Atlanta Falcons. He has the athleticism and competitiveness that we look for in a "Field General".

Anyway, I am sure our intentions regarding the money do not interest you. I am telling you just because I am so excited about this opportunity you have presented to me and my organization.

Here is the information you requested: Personal Phone number: (847) 295-6600

Personal Fax number: (312) 666-1824

Driver License, National Passport and Work ID (one of them)

Driver's License# H4151-0126-3450 (State of Illinois)

What else do you need from me? Please do not hesitate to contact me. I will try to accommodate any request you may have.

Best regards,


George S. HalasPresident/CEO
Chicago Bears Football Club
****************************************************
Hopefully, more emails to come...



George S. Halas (1895-1983)

Bush is a Master Debater

The first Presidential Debate is finally in the books and it looks like Kerry has gained a little momentum. All major news-reporting outfits are reporting a Kerry win. All thoughout the debate, it appeared that he had successfully shifted the focus from himself (Vietnam) to the real, more important issue of foreign policy. It appeared that he had Bush "on the ropes" and surprisingly, Bush did not have anything substantial to present as a "counter-punch" (sorry for the boxing cliches). His only comeback was "...This is a hard job..."

Hardly the "Haymaker" he needed.

Chicken Shit into Chicken Salad

Spinmasters are good. They truly earn their money. Today, I tuned into "Rush Limbaugh on the EIB Network". I really can't stand the guy, but sometimes I enjoy listening to the other side to see how they do damage control and for a good laugh. I do the same thing in sports. When the White Sox beat Minnesota or Kansas City or Detroit, I like to go to the Star Tribune, KC Star, and the Free Press to read whether or not their fans are jumping off the buildings yet. Or I read Milwaukee's paper to read Packers writers write how great the Bears are.

(Okay, okay. Neither of the teams I like beat those other teams with any degree of regularity, but that's besides the point.....)

Okay, where was I?

Oh, yeah. Rush. So, on "Rush" today, people were actually interpreting Bush's agitation and stammering on stage as proof that he is "sincere", "genuine", and "resolute". Callers drank that explanation up like Jim Jones' followers drank his Kool-Aid. We all know that Bush is not a quick thinker and can't come up with a cohesive thought on his own, off-script.

Scorecard

John F. Kerry - 1
George W. Bush - 0


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Who do you trust to lead this country?